seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
