i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
