so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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