...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
