Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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