he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think i got beer on your cat.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
