dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize