there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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