Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
