The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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