I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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