I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
