so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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