I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
