maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
