Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize