u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
