would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
