Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
