Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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