i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
