I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
