God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
