i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
