so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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