found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
