I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
