Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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