I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
