Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
