so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize