you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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