I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
