You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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