Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
