Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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