my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize