Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
