you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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