some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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