...so i touched it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
