Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
As shirtless as possible
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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