I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
