just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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