i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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