whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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