I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
