Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
be right there i have to get my cape
My legs feel like baby dolphins
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
