How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
