K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
