I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
