Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
