Umm I'm too high to move.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
