Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
