Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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