I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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