i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize