first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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