hotel room ftw
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
