He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Randomize