I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I don't think brook has ever known best
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
