Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Randomize