I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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