Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
