I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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