In America we eat man semen.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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