u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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