I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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