She announced her abortion via fbk
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
