yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
