Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
