Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
