are you so shy because you have an std?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
