Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize