i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
